Your Most Annoying Toy

The other day, my wife walked my older daughter to her last day of school. On the way, they pondered what toy in the house held the honor of Most Annoying Toy. I can’t mention the winner for fear of lawsuits, but you can probably guess that it is one that makes noise. The noise it makes is allegedly “talking,” except that it is in the toy’s own “language,” spoken inexplicably in a Valley Girl accent.

The thing that struck me about their list of contenders was that even my daughter picked only toys that did something on their own. She much prefers toys like Legos where she gets to do something.

As long as that something isn’t cleaning up afterward.

One thought on “Your Most Annoying Toy

  1. In my family, godparents buy Christmas toys for their godchildren. There are certain rules to purchasing the proper toy, in order to aggravate the children’s parents to the point of heavy drinking. The toy must:

    1) Make an incredible amount of noise;
    2) Have a thousand pieces (which quickly get lost and then turn up when you step on them with your bare feet);
    3) Require a dozen batteries of an unusual size; or
    4) Be a puppy.

    This family psychological warfare has been going on for about 25 years now. It’s dying down because my youngest nephew, Finn, just turned 6. He’s quickly losing his “cuteness” factor, so an armed truce has descended upon the clan. On the other hand, if my son John-Peter ever marries his girlfriend Courtney and produces his own children, I’m sure my sisters will revive the Toy War in all its ruthless, bloody fury.

    We’re an Irish Catholic family. We put the “fun” in “dysfunctional.”

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