Top Ten Tips On How To Go On A Vacation With Children

1. Spend all summer being too busy to plan a vacation until the week before you go.

2. Come up with a list of impractical ideas.

3. Choose the option that involves staying at a friend’s country cabin, because every other option is too expensive, booked up, sold out, or unseasonable.

4. Three days before you leave, once all the arrangements have been made, take your daughter to the doctor to determine she has walking pneumonia.

5. Having fun yet?vacation_tips

6. Make sure the cabin is far enough away that it involves a long time in the car with kids.

7. Remember to put the keys with the impossible-to-miss log cabin lettering all over the gigantic key fob on the hook closest to the back door so you don’t forget them.

8. Forget them.

9. Remember that you forgot them 45 minutes after you left home.

10. After finally getting away on a wonderful vacation and sharing all kinds of new and exciting experiences with your children — seeing how cows are milked and sheep are sheared, making chocolate, riding horses, looking up at more stars than they ever could have imagined in one sky — try to cherish the fact that when your daughter is asked what she did on her vacation, she vividly recalls having to pee behind a bush. And only that.

6 thoughts on “Top Ten Tips On How To Go On A Vacation With Children

  1. When the ladies at the dress shop asked my 5 y/o nephew what he had done at his grandmother’s house one summer, he proudly announced (full volume) that he threw up in the yellow bucket. Apparently, some events are more memorable than others to the young mind ;-)

  2. Many years ago, I took my kids to the Jersey shore. We had miles and miles of sandy beaches to explore, but the kids wanted to stay at the hotel and swim in the pool. They weren’t the least bit interested in the ocean. They loved the aquarium and the boardwalk, but didn’t want to wade into the ocean. Go figure.

  3. We just went driving around Ireland for a vacation. We saw all sorts of castles, churches, and countryside. My three year old daughter’s favorite thing was seeing Spongebob Squarepants on TV at one of the hotels. In her defense, at least Spongebob was speaking Gaelic. At least, we assume it was Gaelic!

  4. When my son was two, our donkey kicked him in the eye. He wouldn’t open it all the way to the ER 30 minutes away. He was intermittently shrieking or trying to sleep, which we were warned not to let him do for fear of a concussion. When we finally were admitted into the hospital, his face was covered in serum, blood, tears, snot and dirt, the nurse asked him what happened. He opened both his eyes, held out his finger, and said “I got a blister!” (it was two weeks old and completely healed on his finger).
    (He was fine, miraculously)

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