It is the solemn task of a parent to fret about the dystopian future that inexorably awaits his child. It is the task of us all to note with the daily headlines that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Of these two things you can be sure.
Except, suddenly I’m not so sure.
No, it’s not that I don’t see young people squandering their education funds on full body tattoos (and the eventual treatment for Hepatitis C) just as clearly as you do. And, yes, I see what’s in the clothing stores, from sexy toddler ensembles to slutty First Communion dresses. I read the same news stories you do about the growing social pressure on teens to share nude self portraits for the apparent purpose of giving the snottier kids something to sell to “revenge porn” web sites, thus ruining the duped kids’ once not-entirely-bleak futures.
I can totally understand why so many fairy tales involve parents locking up their teenage princesses in towers. It was the only sensible thing to do back then, and it seems all the more imperative in our age of accelerating dangers for the young.
Nevertheless, I can’t help being optimistic this morning. A big, fat ray of hope just floated into my email box. In the form of a junk email, no less. It was from Groupon. A daily deal — for tattoo removal.
You read that right. Not for a tattoo. The Groupon was for tattoo removal.
Good Lord! Is this a sign of things to come? It makes me wonder, What next? What kind of world are my daughters going to grow up in? One with no tattoos? Prim hemlines in girls’ dresses? Boys taunting each other when their droopy drawers are showing? A world where “sexting” means sending someone a picture of your naked ring finger?
Okay, it’s a lot to extrapolate from a single Groupon. But no good change ever happened without someone dreaming it first. So if you’ll excuse me, I have to go dream my day away.
La la la la laa…